Dad's Half Time Report

January 29th marks the 6th month anniversary since our departure. With the Superbowl now set, let us analyze the first half stats. Being a number's geek, I always find figures to be an easier language to speak, so here is our first 6 months by some of the numbers as of January 29th:

• Days away from home: 184
• Continents visited: 4
• Countries slept in: 9
• Flights taken (counting connections): 21
• Trains ridden (not counting subways): 2
• Airbnb Stays: 18
• Hostel Stays: 3
• Hotel Stays: 2
• Farm Stays: 1
• sheep de-tailed: ~250
• Family member who have puked: 5
• Teeth Lost: 5 (all from one child)
• Campervans rented: 1
• Cars rented: 4
• KM driven: not that anal
• Books Read: 69
• SIM cards purchased: 16
• Hospitals visited: 2
• Children lost: 1
• Shoes purchased: 6
• YoungLife staff met: 2
• Missionaries connected with: 2
• Projects we've been able to serve with: 4

Six months! So hard to believe as time is a bit of an enigma on this journey. On one hand it seems we just left and are only starting to get the hang of this, while on the other it feels like we have been away much longer. That time component makes it incredibly difficult to summarize this trip, our experiences, and all that our family has endured, enjoyed and engaged in. Words have never really been my forte, so set your expectations low and we will see where this goes.

Down time is far less existent than I ever imagined. There is not as much time to process as we adults would like as 4 kids do not always make for peaceful travel companions. Sometimes we worry that it's going by in a blur and the kids are not processing all that they should. Our desire to be intentional with this blessing probably haunts us more than necessary but, then again, we are both first born children.

Personally this trip has had its challenges for me. My struggles with my feet have been mentioned numerous times and will not be expanded upon here. Sufficient to say that it's not fun to travel (especially to unfamiliar places) when not feeling 100% and add to that being sick for about month, part of me sincerely wanted to pull the plug and either head home or else find a place to just settle down somewhere for the second half (which was always our Plan B) where medical care could be more easily accessed. I have not fully been able to have the experience I had hoped for as many of the things I enjoy just couldn't be done: playing with the boys and running to name two. But I suppose that life always has a way of throwing us curve balls which require faith and perseverance and while we often do not appreciate it at the time, eventually we see what God was up to. I'm annoyed at the time that it took to figure out the issues and the energy spent navigating various health care systems but it is one way to experience the world outside the U.S. too. I have now started some new meds which seem to be helping and everyone feels they would like to continue if I am able. So, that is our plan - we have been putting off committing to new plans until we decided. This week, we have booked our Safari tour in South Africa and also purchased our tickets to Morocco after our time in the Middle East, which we are also diligently working on planning. My hope is the second half will be significantly better than the first.

Being with the family 24/7 is something I have never done and took (is still taking) some getting used to for everyone. My tendency to just "do things" and take control was met with some animosity by those not used to me being around all the time (i.e. everyone). My desire to make sure everything evolves perfectly (like a normal short-term vacation) had to be altered as things just don't always go right on a trip such as this. Making decisions can be exhausting, especially when they keep piling up, you lack the necessary information and others are waiting on you. On a journey like this there is no normal, no routine to fall into and I have had to learn to share that load. And, frankly, things go smoother when I do. My heart was in the right place, but my brain was not.

The obvious biggest personal change I have had to endure on this trip is not working. I think probably the hardest part for me has simply being engaging my brain differently than what I was used to with my job. I loved my job and co-workers and even more broadly, I love the markets and investments. It is hard to slow my wheels from spinning and thinking about such things. I haven't gone too many days without at least checking what happened but I have disengaged from truly analyzing them. I miss the markets and while most probably cringe about the volatility during the last few months, I actually enjoy it. It is stressful, yes, but navigating the difficult times is when people most need investment help. The Group I was part of does that well (and nailed the recent turmoil I would add) and I miss being part of that team. I miss the Monday through Friday routine and while I don't miss traffic, I do miss my morning Starbucks and alone time in the car (who would of guessed?) or chatting with buddies on the drive.

While we have accomplished some of our goals on this trip, others still need a lot of work. One major goal was "gelling" as a family to find a groove within our current structure, which has dramatically evolved over the last 5 years. This one is hard to understand but something we needed. We needed time just to do life exclusively with one another and not be distracted by all the cares of normal life. What we didn't anticipate is that the distractions of constant travel are just as large and often larger because each place is new. There's always something to research or book. Sometimes just finding water can be challenging when you don't know your surroundings. But overall, I am very pleased with how this has played out and the progress being made. I'm hesitant to say mission accomplished as I believe we can always improve, but we have experienced relational change that I believe will be lifelong.

Another goal was for me and my wife to rekindle romance and friendship after many years of just running too hard. Between my career and education, having kids, moving six times in ten years, homeschooling and trying to serve and do ministry, we evolved more into great partners than friends. We are very good at accomplishing stuff and getting things done - not so much at sitting still and enjoying each other. Unfortunately, this has proved very difficult on this journey. We just don't get the time to process or even be alone together for that matter. I am very thankful we have more time to put a more concentrated effort into this. Reality is that there will always be distractions and we have to pound through them. As romantic as traveling the world sounds, it is, at times, just nauseatingly difficult.

A third goal was for the kids to see life outside of their normal and realize that there are many ways to live, work and play. This certainly has occurred and even though it took until about month 5, they now no longer desire to go home even if given the opportunity. They are amazing travelers and incredibly flexible. Some days we are up at 5am, others we sleep until 10. Some nights we stay out very late and others we go to bed early. Some days we eat 3 meals a day and others only 1. The only thing that is really consistent is our inconsistency (similar to my golf game). It's begun to feel so normal that we joke that returning to a normal M-F routine will feel incredibly slow.

One thing that I have increased in is my appreciation and awe at my wife. She has grown on this trip in ways that I didn't expect and seeing her interact and come into her own is nothing short of inspiring. When it comes to our volunteering and serving, she is one who really has something to offer (not many in third world countries are interested in valuation or charting techniques). Those of you that know her know that I married up by a big margin but I continue to grow more fond of her daily. Without even saying it, she challenges me to be a better father, husband and man. A future goal of mine is getting to know her better and providing an environment that allows her to thrive. One of the things I am most anticipating upon getting home is seeing her thrive with newly created habits and confidence.

Time is one thing that I am still wrapping my arms around. Time is constant, its pace never changes and yet some days crawl while some weeks fly. Why is that? What makes its constant pace feel different from one period to another? I wish I had the answers to share with you. But one thing a trip like this makes you realize is that time is precious. It sounds cliche to say and everyone knows this but it is so easy to waste time. So easy to "veg out" because we believe we "deserve it". I am now convinced that this is an American fallacy. Maybe the ad agencies invented the concept to sell product? The people in the places we have been don't veg out, they don't seem to waste much time at all. I'm not saying they work harder either. But they do somehow seem to strike a better balance of work and relational engagement. They don't spend their time and treasure on the sidelines of sporting events or worrying about which teacher their child may get. I believe one takeaway for me will be challenging myself to make the most of the time I have, each and every day, not just from a productivity stance, but a relational one as well. For me this will be challenging.

The length of our journey perplexed even us before we left. We set out on this trip with one year in mind. Many questioned our desire for a year. "So long!", I was told. "Why a year? " or "That's a really long time" or "With four kids?" were always questions. Several even questioned, "What about their sports?" as if this trip will prevent their D1 scholarship. Before we left, I never really felt satisfied with my ability to answer the question in an articulate manner (frankly, a common struggle for me). I just knew it was what we were called to. I didn't know why. In my opinion, the best description I once put together was stating that we needed to enter a dark tunnel, where the light from the other side could not be seen. If the light could be seen, then it's too close to just a long vacation and not something that can change how we see the world. It's when there is no light that we as a family can find out who we really are. Such is faith and such is our desire to live recklessly for Christ. Now, at the halfway point, I am seeing the picture more clearly -still fuzzy, but clearer yet. As much as part of me wants to go home, to my own bed, shower, friends and routine, it is not time yet. We could return now, having had amazing experiences and memories and time together, but it wouldn't feel complete. We still have more work to do. What, exactly, is yet to unfold. The next few months will be challenging without a doubt.

When we left, part of me (not all) secretly hoped we'd love this life so much, we would just keep at it. Sell all our stuff for real (not just the stuff we didn't care much about) and keep traveling, keep living and keep serving. Why not, others have. That was the adventurer in me. That was the part of me that desired unconventionality as I've always had a portion of me that swims against the current just because. That thought is now fading though. It sounds romantic and awesome but I don't necessarily think its what we are called to, even though part of me loves the idea. We are getting some things done but we are also called to live in community. We need that support network. They need us. While I can't say exactly what life will look like when we return, I think it will be more similar to what we left than what I thought before we left (if that makes sense). But we will be better people. We will live more slowly, more intentionally. We will worry less and be more flexible. We will cherish time with softer hands and appreciate our friends and family more than we did.

Lastly, one other major contemplation we are undergoing is how we support those in the mission field. This one we are still working through and figuring out but there is a big difference between signing up for a monthly or yearly donation and truly partnering with those in the field. Truly engaging and giving sacrificially takes work. It's not passive. We were both passive and active in our philanthropy but I believe we are called to be more active yet. Again, not sure what that will look like - good thing we have more time.